Young & humble

In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. (1 Peter 5:5-6)

I was never the one to “submit” to anyone when I was younger. I don’t know what it is about this concept of submitting, but as a rebellious kid, I wanted things MY way. The funny thing is, I thought I knew SO much.

When I first got saved, I went to a bible school, and started to learn about who God is, and I thought I learned a lot in the first year, feeling confident. I would teach others about who God is, and I even try to correct and teach my spiritual mentor (she’s an amazing lady who led me to Christ, and in her 60s.) It was comical how I used to brag about how “humble” I am. Because in reality, I had zero humility. I was nothing but a proud, bratty immature kid.

The haughty looks of man shall be brought low, and the lofty pride of men shall be humbled, and the Lord alone will be exalted in that day. (Isaiah 2:11)

God humbled me, through many events happened in my life, he made me realize just how much wisdom my spiritual mentor carried, and now I absolutely believe it is true that the younger should submit to the elder. Same way, I started to realize that I know nothing. I know SO little about God. He is so vast and to understand who he is is going to take me more than this lifetime.

The other day at church I heard this one quote:

“Small me, Big God”

I think this perfectly sums up how I feel about God these days. I get smaller and smaller and I see just how powerful God is daily. My reverence grew more and more towards him and began to slowly understand the “fear of the Lord”. No wonder it is said in Proverbs:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
    and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (Proverbs 9:10)

There is a famous old saying in Japanese, “the boughs that bear most hang lowest.” This means “the greater you become as a person, the more modest you become.”

I bet ones who bare much fruit will also hang the lowest and be the humble vessel God created us to be.

Boast in my weakness

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. (2 Corinthians 11:30)

Scars are difficult to hide. So I used to hurt myself in places where no one could really see. But by the grace of God the scars, over time slowly healed. We all once were hurt, but sometimes when you are hurting so much, you truly feel like you’re the only one in the world, hurting the most. And I want to tell you that you’re not wrong. You are yourself, and not anybody else, so you cannot compare your pain to others.

I believe you are in a lot of pain, even if no one else does.

We treat weakness like an ugly scar. Trying to hide them on our daily lives, trying to portray ourselves as better person. But I think sometimes, those scars are what makes us even more lovable. I used to feel uncomfortable sharing too much of myself to others, because I believed, deep within, they’ll hate me once they know me.

But when I encountered Jesus, he embraced me, all my scars exposed. He showed me his scars, on the cross. Ripped apart and disfigured. He said by his wounds, I was healed.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5)

God even started to use my testimony and all of my scars to heal others. I believe he makes even the scars beautiful.

My husband, when we were dating wrote me a letter saying that our lives reminded him of Kintsugi, which means “golden joinery“. It is the centuries-old Japanese art of fixing broken pottery. Rather than rejoin ceramic pieces with clear glue, the Kintsugi technique uses lacquer dusted with powdered gold, silver, or platinum to join them. Once completed, beautiful seams of gold in the conspicuous cracks of ceramic wares, giving a one-of-a-kind appearance to each “repaired” piece.

We both came from a broken past, and in a way we thought we were both undeserving of love. But God has mend each one of us beautifully with his love and grace.

I still feel as though I am being healed daily. Every time my husband looks at me and says “Hello beautiful!”, I see Jesus in his eyes.

If it weren’t for God, I would never be in this place. I don’t care what anyone say. I will go ahead and boast in my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God, your power is sufficient for me.

Move on

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. (Isaiah 42:18)

When I first got saved, I had these nightmare almost every night. In my dream I was the same girl who slept around and did not have a single care in the world. But ever single night the enemy was taunting me with all the guilt and shame that I was struggling at the time. When I got saved, and God told me I was a new creation, I believed it.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

But night after night I would be having these dreams and think to myself, maybe I am not saved. Maybe I am not free from this. Maybe I am just the same lost girl I once was. It was a blatant trick and a lie from the enemy trying to stumble me into thinking that I was still the lost sinner I once was, but it took me a while to realize it.

God makes all things new. Once we have been saved through the blood of Christ, we become a brand new creation. God forgives us for all things we have done in the past. But there comes a time when the enemy tries to make us believe that we have not changed. That we are still tied to our past, and make us dwell in the past mistakes rather than moving on to new things that God is doing. We need to stand firm in God’s truth and recognize our new identity in Christ. We are sons and daughters of the most high God.

One day I woke up from the nightmare and did something totally opposite of what I usually do which is to be downcast and dwelling in shame.

I started to praise God

For he is the one who set me free and made me into a brand new blameless creation. I was no longer that old past self in the dream but I was a precious daughter of the most high. I kept on saying Thank you Jesus for setting me free. Thank you so much for your blood, and sacrifice that I am no longer that person I used to be.

Surprisingly the more and more I started doing that, the less and less the dreams occurred. It went from every night to 5 days a week to 3 days a week to only once a week. Then once a month, once in 3 months… Praise God but he truly set me free.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

I bet the devils were like “Crap! every time we give her these dreams to guilt trip her, she wakes up and praises God even more!!! This is not working!!!”

Lord, I thank you for making us into a new creation. Old things are gone, and we want to move forward with you. Let us be firmly grounded only in your truth so that nothing will shake us even if we get attacked. Thank you for second chances, thank you for your blood and forgiveness. Amen.

The Perfect Gift

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

I spent a long time researching what to get my husband for the first ever birthday of his we’re celebrating together. When I asked him “What do you want for your bday?” He said, “You are enough!!!:” but then also “But I also like nice things.. lol”

The first gift that came to mind was actually a bible-study kit. Broken down book by book, main summary, bible characters, authors, historical timeline, geography etc. LOL Some might think that’s a gift no one would ever want. (Brian definitely did not ask for a gift like this) But I really wanted him to dig deeper into the word of God, and I wanted to do the same. So I made him 10 binders of bible study books and wrapped it with a pen + a journal. 

What would be “beneficial” for him and his spiritual health, was the utmost important thing to me.

But then again, I also wanted to get him just something that’s “nice” to have. So went on a hunt for the most perfect leather sneakers that would fit him. (and some coffee) 

The whole process of finding gifts for him, I began to understand God’s heart. A lot of times what he gives us as “gifts” are what’s beneficial for us. He knows us best, and he gives us something that we would need (but not necessarily “want” or “asked for”) Just like how God gifted me with a beautiful apartment GYM. (Which I would never ask for in a million years) God knows how much I sit around and need to work out to keep healthy. But also at the same time, he blesses us with just “nice” things as well. These things I call “cherry on top” Like the beautiful honeymoon suite in Ohio I didn’t even book but God just gave to us. 

The best part was I was having more fun in preparing these gifts for him. It was SO joyful thinking about how Brian will be surprised and these gifts will bring a smile to his face. It was not a “chore” to get his gift or a “difficult task” but it was just pure joy. I bet God prepares our gifts with such joy too.

Thinking, “You just wait and see!”

I bet he smiles looking down at us when we find the gifts from heaven. 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  (James 1:17)

Love meals for evangelism: 62 Plates

Love Meal

Every Saturday Night: We are hosting a weekly dinner in Anaheim, CA to whomever needs some extra love, encouragement & good food! (Especially if you are feeling burnt out, stressed and depressed during this pandemic, we are here to help) If you have a friend or family member who needs a pick-me-up, bring them along!

You pick the dinner menu and we will make it happen.

Everything free of charge. Tax & Gratuity Included 🙂

If you want to attend this dinner or gift the dinner to a friend or family in need, Please send us your available Saturday date to : 62plates@gmail.com

Why are we doing this?

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

We believe in loving God and loving our neighbor as ourselves. Ever since Covid pandemic hit, we have noticed that there are so many people who are in need of the love. We want to share the blessing God has given us and speak love and encouragement into our neighbor’s life.

This is where it happens! 🙂 www.onyux.blog/62-plates

Love and Power

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, (Ephesians 3:17-18)

I always envision ourselves as trees. Sprouting from the ground with constant care from God. Right amount of sunlight, right amount of water and right amount of care. When plants grow, they put roots in the ground, and that’s to be firmly standing when a strong wind comes and tries to knock them over.

God is a caring father who pays so much attention to our every little thing, and wants what’s good for us. He wants us to be rooted and grounded in his love. The verse in Ephesians mentions that I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power. Meaning being rooted in love come before having power. Power without love is reckless and can be abusive, even. (Martin Luther King’s quote)

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:2)

Without love, it is meaningless. We can evangelize and do all the works and even prophecy and heal people, but is that coming from a place of true love? It is a question we should ask ourselves daily.

I think it is crucial to always check if we are rooted in love.

On the flip side, what about love without power? What if we are rooted in love but we don’t exercise the power of Christ? Love without power is sentimental and anemic. (Martin Luther King’s quote, also) We can sit in our own comfort of home and fill ourselves with God’s love, but what are we doing with it? If we are truly overflowing with his love, then there will be an urge to go out and love on others as well, because that is the heart of Christ. Ministry without power, and especially evangelism without power is not very effective. I’ve seen it happen, I’m not saying it is totally not effective but when you are evangelizing with the Holy spirit guiding you and giving you instruction, it becomes SO MUCH more powerful.

Lord I pray that I always remain rooted in your love before anything else. So that when trials and tribulations come I will not shake, but will be firmly grounded in you. Amen!

Surprise!

Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” (John 13:7)

How many times have you told God “God, I don’t understand what you’re doing!”?

I find myself being impatient from time to time asking God, what. is. happening! But Jesus said, later we will understand. There is only one who can see the big picture, everything from the beginning and the end, and that is God. He knows everything, and therefore he knows what’s best for us, and what’s not.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Not only does he know everything, but he also has a plan for us. Plans to give us hope and a bright future. But contrary to what the scripture say, we often say “Why GOD! Why!” We blame God and we question his goodness.

“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? (Matthew 7:9)

Will God give us a stone instead? Absolutely not. He is our good father 🙂

So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. (Matthew 7:11)

My husband’s birthday is coming up and I’ve been racking my brain day and night to think of the most perfect gift. And because we live together and our packages get delivered to the same spot, I was afraid that he might pick it up and find out what it is before his actual birthday. And I had to do some prep work and wrapping the gift without him knowing or seeing! So I told him if he can just go somewhere for half a day LOL! He asked me “What’s wrong? why?” I said “I need some space!” Hahahahahah (and I never say this kind of stuff) and he was puzzled and also seemed sad/disappointed. But I know that he will be more surprised that way!

I wonder God does that with us sometimes, he only reveals so much to us at a time, but save the best for the last.

Once we enter through the gate of heaven, he’ll be standing there with his arms wide open welcoming us back with the most radiant smile and say

“Surprise!”

Do what makes you happy?

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

All my life I was told to just do what makes me happy.

It was all about ME. Focus on my feelings, focus on what brings me pleasure. Live for me and myself only. But this left me so empty and unfulfilled.

It was when I experienced the love of Christ, that flipped my world upside down. I feel like there was a hole in my heart that nothing else could fill. But only Jesus could fill that gaping hole. When Jesus embraced me, and encountered me through holy spirit, I truly felt what it is like to be loved by my creator. We are created in his image. We are created to worship him. But the world will tell you otherwise.

For from him and through him and for him are all things.
    To him be the glory forever! Amen. (Romans 11:36)

Apart from God, there is no meaning, no life, no purpose.

All the advertisement we see on social media / TV, tells you a certain type of message. Once you buy this car, you’ll be happy. If you wear this kind of clothes, people will love you. If you live in a place like this, you will feel fulfilled. When you go on certain type of vacation, it will bring you all the joy and purpose in life. But did it?

I believed in the lies that owning certain things, or filling my life with certain experiences will bring me the ultimate fulfillment, but it never did. You just end up feeling like you are chasing after an illusion.

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

Don’t let the world get to you, but turn to the truth. I pray that I don’t conform to the pattern of this world, but by the power of Holy Spirit, I’ll be transforming the culture from the heavenly perspective.

Letter to a neighbor

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:31)

I’m gonna tell you about the beef jerky story.

So me and my husband, we have obsession for this one brand of beef jerky, so we ordered some to our place (we usually do bulk orders) and also decided to bless some of my church friends in NYC. (I’m from NY, and I recently left the church there so I can serve at a smaller church in OC as we moved here) It was a farewell gift to all my previous small group members =)

My friends got the jerky in NY but the shipment that was supposed to come to us (in Cali) got sent to the wrong address! So I was patiently waiting and waiting, then I called the jerky company to confirm the address, so they sent another shipment. But again! it somehow got sent to New York again! So we had to do this 3 times, and I was getting a bit frustrated lol. So the company felt bad for us, and sent us an extra bag of jerky. (which melted all my frustration)

But the crazy thing is the boxes of jerky KEPT ON COMING! All the wrong shipments somehow got re-routed to our address and we ended getting 300 dollars worth of beef jerky FOR FREE. So what do we do with this? I felt the urge to share this blessing with others, so I posted under “FREE” category on Craigslist.org and titled it “Free 1 lb Beef jerky with Prayer” LOL

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. (Matthew 10:8)

I am such an internet troll, but I was in the mood to just do something a little ridiculous today. Of course the Craigslist posting got flagged immediately and taken down after 10 mins or so (I was surprised at how fast it got flagged!) I can’t just offer some free jerky and free prayer in this day and age? But in that short window of time, someone contacted me and said he could come pick it up.

My husband is such an amazing human being, because this was entirely my idea and I didn’t really tell him about it until later. I just told him “A stranger is gonna come to our place today to pick up some jerky, can we pray for him?” And he was SO confused. 🙂 But he agreed after I told him what happened.

I went all out and me and my husband even wrote a letter to him and created a care package including a pound of beef jerky. I truly felt like this person who was about to come and pick up a jerky is someone who stands up for justice and has a lot of courage. I included a verse in there as well.

It was such an awesome thing to bless someone like that. When he got the care package, he blessed US as well and said he was so very touched by what we were doing. He started to recite Proverbs 3:5

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

which was actually the verse my husband gave me when we got married. It’s inscribed in my engagement ring.

How good is our God? Afterwards me and my husband went to dinner, and as we are praying for our meal, I just started to cry, because I felt the overwhelming goodness of God. I pray that I live each and everyday overflowing with the joy of the Lord and filled with thanksgiving. That I’ll be able to love on strangers and our neighbors more than I love myself.

Die to ourselves, live for Christ

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

Galatians 2:20 – when I read it, my first impression was

“Huh?”

Bit of an oxymoron: I’m dead (I no longer live) but still I live. I live by faith in the son of God. The whole upside down principal of God’s Kingdom always was a bit of an enigma to me, until I started experiencing them in my own life. For example, Loving your enemies. (Instead of hate)

 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Matthew 5:44)

Why do we even have to care about the enemies, when we can’t even love our own neighbors? But Jesus loved and prayed for the ones who persecuted him. Even when he was on the cross, he uttered “Father Forgive them” It’s almost a mind-blowing concept, especially if you don’t know the person of Jesus. I remember the first time I loved on the person who was cursing me and hating on me, I think I was half-curious, if I can even do it. The key here is never using our own strength but using the strength of Christ to love them.

Day after day, loving on someone who has something against you isn’t the easiest thing, but you will see softening of their heart as Holy spirit works on them. It’s pretty fascinating. If you haven’t tried, please go ahead and actively try loving the ones who hate you. They’ll think you’re crazy, you’ll think you’re crazy, and probably everyone will think you’re crazy. But the Lord will see your heart, he will reward you.

What does it even mean to be crucified with Christ?

We talk a lot about dying to ourselves and our flesh daily. But I wonder if we really put that into action. When we are dead to ourself and our flesh, would we ever argue with others and fight? Would we throw fits and complain about how we are being mistreated?

When something’s dead, there is nothing but silence and stillness. (If you are dead, you usually don’t talk back)

It seems like my flesh is always talking back at me yapping and going “I don’t like this, and I don’t like that and I’m so frustrated and can’t believe so-and-so did that, blah-blah-blah..” It’s nuts. I want to know what it is like to truly die to self and to live ONLY for Christ. I want to empty myself of me and all my selfish thoughts and start living only for Christ.

God does not only want a part of ourselves, but whole. 100 percent of who we are. He wants full ownership because we belong to him. When we give him 99 percent but decide to hold back that 1% God cannot really use us. Whether it is an idol or secret sin. He is waiting for us to fully surrender ourselves to him. I need to search my life and see if there is even a small thing I’m holding back from him. “God, please you can take everything but this one thing” This will NOT work.

23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139 23-24)

Lord search me and test me. If there is anything that is offensive to you, please point them all out to me. I want to truly learn what it is like to die to myself and live for you and your glory only, Amen.