Boast in my weakness

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. (2 Corinthians 11:30)

Scars are difficult to hide. So I used to hurt myself in places where no one could really see. But by the grace of God the scars, over time slowly healed. We all once were hurt, but sometimes when you are hurting so much, you truly feel like you’re the only one in the world, hurting the most. And I want to tell you that you’re not wrong. You are yourself, and not anybody else, so you cannot compare your pain to others.

I believe you are in a lot of pain, even if no one else does.

We treat weakness like an ugly scar. Trying to hide them on our daily lives, trying to portray ourselves as better person. But I think sometimes, those scars are what makes us even more lovable. I used to feel uncomfortable sharing too much of myself to others, because I believed, deep within, they’ll hate me once they know me.

But when I encountered Jesus, he embraced me, all my scars exposed. He showed me his scars, on the cross. Ripped apart and disfigured. He said by his wounds, I was healed.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5)

God even started to use my testimony and all of my scars to heal others. I believe he makes even the scars beautiful.

My husband, when we were dating wrote me a letter saying that our lives reminded him of Kintsugi, which means “golden joinery“. It is the centuries-old Japanese art of fixing broken pottery. Rather than rejoin ceramic pieces with clear glue, the Kintsugi technique uses lacquer dusted with powdered gold, silver, or platinum to join them. Once completed, beautiful seams of gold in the conspicuous cracks of ceramic wares, giving a one-of-a-kind appearance to each “repaired” piece.

We both came from a broken past, and in a way we thought we were both undeserving of love. But God has mend each one of us beautifully with his love and grace.

I still feel as though I am being healed daily. Every time my husband looks at me and says “Hello beautiful!”, I see Jesus in his eyes.

If it weren’t for God, I would never be in this place. I don’t care what anyone say. I will go ahead and boast in my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God, your power is sufficient for me.

Move on

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. (Isaiah 42:18)

When I first got saved, I had these nightmare almost every night. In my dream I was the same girl who slept around and did not have a single care in the world. But ever single night the enemy was taunting me with all the guilt and shame that I was struggling at the time. When I got saved, and God told me I was a new creation, I believed it.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

But night after night I would be having these dreams and think to myself, maybe I am not saved. Maybe I am not free from this. Maybe I am just the same lost girl I once was. It was a blatant trick and a lie from the enemy trying to stumble me into thinking that I was still the lost sinner I once was, but it took me a while to realize it.

God makes all things new. Once we have been saved through the blood of Christ, we become a brand new creation. God forgives us for all things we have done in the past. But there comes a time when the enemy tries to make us believe that we have not changed. That we are still tied to our past, and make us dwell in the past mistakes rather than moving on to new things that God is doing. We need to stand firm in God’s truth and recognize our new identity in Christ. We are sons and daughters of the most high God.

One day I woke up from the nightmare and did something totally opposite of what I usually do which is to be downcast and dwelling in shame.

I started to praise God

For he is the one who set me free and made me into a brand new blameless creation. I was no longer that old past self in the dream but I was a precious daughter of the most high. I kept on saying Thank you Jesus for setting me free. Thank you so much for your blood, and sacrifice that I am no longer that person I used to be.

Surprisingly the more and more I started doing that, the less and less the dreams occurred. It went from every night to 5 days a week to 3 days a week to only once a week. Then once a month, once in 3 months… Praise God but he truly set me free.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

I bet the devils were like “Crap! every time we give her these dreams to guilt trip her, she wakes up and praises God even more!!! This is not working!!!”

Lord, I thank you for making us into a new creation. Old things are gone, and we want to move forward with you. Let us be firmly grounded only in your truth so that nothing will shake us even if we get attacked. Thank you for second chances, thank you for your blood and forgiveness. Amen.

Love meals for evangelism: 62 Plates

Love Meal

Every Saturday Night: We are hosting a weekly dinner in Anaheim, CA to whomever needs some extra love, encouragement & good food! (Especially if you are feeling burnt out, stressed and depressed during this pandemic, we are here to help) If you have a friend or family member who needs a pick-me-up, bring them along!

You pick the dinner menu and we will make it happen.

Everything free of charge. Tax & Gratuity Included 🙂

If you want to attend this dinner or gift the dinner to a friend or family in need, Please send us your available Saturday date to : 62plates@gmail.com

Why are we doing this?

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

We believe in loving God and loving our neighbor as ourselves. Ever since Covid pandemic hit, we have noticed that there are so many people who are in need of the love. We want to share the blessing God has given us and speak love and encouragement into our neighbor’s life.

This is where it happens! 🙂 www.onyux.blog/62-plates

Love and Power

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, (Ephesians 3:17-18)

I always envision ourselves as trees. Sprouting from the ground with constant care from God. Right amount of sunlight, right amount of water and right amount of care. When plants grow, they put roots in the ground, and that’s to be firmly standing when a strong wind comes and tries to knock them over.

God is a caring father who pays so much attention to our every little thing, and wants what’s good for us. He wants us to be rooted and grounded in his love. The verse in Ephesians mentions that I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power. Meaning being rooted in love come before having power. Power without love is reckless and can be abusive, even. (Martin Luther King’s quote)

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:2)

Without love, it is meaningless. We can evangelize and do all the works and even prophecy and heal people, but is that coming from a place of true love? It is a question we should ask ourselves daily.

I think it is crucial to always check if we are rooted in love.

On the flip side, what about love without power? What if we are rooted in love but we don’t exercise the power of Christ? Love without power is sentimental and anemic. (Martin Luther King’s quote, also) We can sit in our own comfort of home and fill ourselves with God’s love, but what are we doing with it? If we are truly overflowing with his love, then there will be an urge to go out and love on others as well, because that is the heart of Christ. Ministry without power, and especially evangelism without power is not very effective. I’ve seen it happen, I’m not saying it is totally not effective but when you are evangelizing with the Holy spirit guiding you and giving you instruction, it becomes SO MUCH more powerful.

Lord I pray that I always remain rooted in your love before anything else. So that when trials and tribulations come I will not shake, but will be firmly grounded in you. Amen!

Letter to a neighbor

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:31)

I’m gonna tell you about the beef jerky story.

So me and my husband, we have obsession for this one brand of beef jerky, so we ordered some to our place (we usually do bulk orders) and also decided to bless some of my church friends in NYC. (I’m from NY, and I recently left the church there so I can serve at a smaller church in OC as we moved here) It was a farewell gift to all my previous small group members =)

My friends got the jerky in NY but the shipment that was supposed to come to us (in Cali) got sent to the wrong address! So I was patiently waiting and waiting, then I called the jerky company to confirm the address, so they sent another shipment. But again! it somehow got sent to New York again! So we had to do this 3 times, and I was getting a bit frustrated lol. So the company felt bad for us, and sent us an extra bag of jerky. (which melted all my frustration)

But the crazy thing is the boxes of jerky KEPT ON COMING! All the wrong shipments somehow got re-routed to our address and we ended getting 300 dollars worth of beef jerky FOR FREE. So what do we do with this? I felt the urge to share this blessing with others, so I posted under “FREE” category on Craigslist.org and titled it “Free 1 lb Beef jerky with Prayer” LOL

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. (Matthew 10:8)

I am such an internet troll, but I was in the mood to just do something a little ridiculous today. Of course the Craigslist posting got flagged immediately and taken down after 10 mins or so (I was surprised at how fast it got flagged!) I can’t just offer some free jerky and free prayer in this day and age? But in that short window of time, someone contacted me and said he could come pick it up.

My husband is such an amazing human being, because this was entirely my idea and I didn’t really tell him about it until later. I just told him “A stranger is gonna come to our place today to pick up some jerky, can we pray for him?” And he was SO confused. 🙂 But he agreed after I told him what happened.

I went all out and me and my husband even wrote a letter to him and created a care package including a pound of beef jerky. I truly felt like this person who was about to come and pick up a jerky is someone who stands up for justice and has a lot of courage. I included a verse in there as well.

It was such an awesome thing to bless someone like that. When he got the care package, he blessed US as well and said he was so very touched by what we were doing. He started to recite Proverbs 3:5

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

which was actually the verse my husband gave me when we got married. It’s inscribed in my engagement ring.

How good is our God? Afterwards me and my husband went to dinner, and as we are praying for our meal, I just started to cry, because I felt the overwhelming goodness of God. I pray that I live each and everyday overflowing with the joy of the Lord and filled with thanksgiving. That I’ll be able to love on strangers and our neighbors more than I love myself.

Die to ourselves, live for Christ

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

Galatians 2:20 – when I read it, my first impression was

“Huh?”

Bit of an oxymoron: I’m dead (I no longer live) but still I live. I live by faith in the son of God. The whole upside down principal of God’s Kingdom always was a bit of an enigma to me, until I started experiencing them in my own life. For example, Loving your enemies. (Instead of hate)

 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Matthew 5:44)

Why do we even have to care about the enemies, when we can’t even love our own neighbors? But Jesus loved and prayed for the ones who persecuted him. Even when he was on the cross, he uttered “Father Forgive them” It’s almost a mind-blowing concept, especially if you don’t know the person of Jesus. I remember the first time I loved on the person who was cursing me and hating on me, I think I was half-curious, if I can even do it. The key here is never using our own strength but using the strength of Christ to love them.

Day after day, loving on someone who has something against you isn’t the easiest thing, but you will see softening of their heart as Holy spirit works on them. It’s pretty fascinating. If you haven’t tried, please go ahead and actively try loving the ones who hate you. They’ll think you’re crazy, you’ll think you’re crazy, and probably everyone will think you’re crazy. But the Lord will see your heart, he will reward you.

What does it even mean to be crucified with Christ?

We talk a lot about dying to ourselves and our flesh daily. But I wonder if we really put that into action. When we are dead to ourself and our flesh, would we ever argue with others and fight? Would we throw fits and complain about how we are being mistreated?

When something’s dead, there is nothing but silence and stillness. (If you are dead, you usually don’t talk back)

It seems like my flesh is always talking back at me yapping and going “I don’t like this, and I don’t like that and I’m so frustrated and can’t believe so-and-so did that, blah-blah-blah..” It’s nuts. I want to know what it is like to truly die to self and to live ONLY for Christ. I want to empty myself of me and all my selfish thoughts and start living only for Christ.

God does not only want a part of ourselves, but whole. 100 percent of who we are. He wants full ownership because we belong to him. When we give him 99 percent but decide to hold back that 1% God cannot really use us. Whether it is an idol or secret sin. He is waiting for us to fully surrender ourselves to him. I need to search my life and see if there is even a small thing I’m holding back from him. “God, please you can take everything but this one thing” This will NOT work.

23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139 23-24)

Lord search me and test me. If there is anything that is offensive to you, please point them all out to me. I want to truly learn what it is like to die to myself and live for you and your glory only, Amen.

Rest, dear, rest.

Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. (Genesis 2:3)

Few weeks ago, as I was reading through Exodus and Leviticus, God spoke to me about the Sabbath and rest. Genesis 2:3 is such a beautiful representation of “rest” that I had to meditate on this for a while. God has spent 6 days creating heavens and the earth, he created all the plants, animals and even us! But after finishing all the work of creation, on 7th day, he rested. My first, simple question was “Why did he rest?” Did God, after doing a whole bunch of creating for 6 days, get tired? Is that why he rested?

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary... (Isaiah 40:28)

No, I don’t think that’s it. He is an all-powerful God, he could have worked 7 days, 70 days and 7000 years if he wanted, but it was an intentional decision on his part to take a day to “rest’. I think there is something so powerful and key in this.

I used to think God “blessed’ he seventh day and made it holy, and that’s why he rested on that day, but actually it was the other way around. He rested, and because he rested, he blessed that day. It’s so interesting that from his day of rest, his blessing came.

A lot of the sermons lately I’ve been hearing about rest was mostly focused on the part of as human, we get tired and weary as we are ministering to others. So that’s why we need to rest in the arms of Christ. That is true, but I started to re-think about the order.

We work hard, and minister to others -> We get tired and weary -> We go do Christ for rest so we can recharge.

What if it was the other way around?

We rest in his presence -> We get filled with his spirit and we are overflowing in love -> We go out and minister to others from that overflow.

What if we rested in his presence more often and not wait until we get burnt out? What if everything we do came from the place of spending time with God? What if God created rest not as a rescue plan from being burnt out but as a way to bless us?

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters. (Psalm 23:1-2)

This is one of my favorite verse in the bible, and every time I read this, I picture myself on this green hill on a sunny day. I hear the water running ever so subtly in the background and my eyes are closed. My Lord, my shepherd, he is the one who made me lie down and he is the one who led me beside the quiet waters.

From the place of rest, he will speak to us. He will fill us with his spirit. He will bless us. Not just on a Sunday, or not only when I’m are tired, but always, I pray I will find rest in him.

Power of the Gospel

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. (John 8: 3-6)

Our pastor shared a story yesterday to demonstrate the power of Gospel. It was about this woman who was caught in adultery. When I read this verse a while back, I remember just nodding my head and going ok, and not giving it much thought. But I spent some time meditating this verse and the more and more I chewed on this story, I started to realize the true power of Gospel of Christ.

This woman, all she did was sin, and her sin was exposed to the world to see. Out of all the things, she got caught in the act of adultery. They (pharisees) basically dragged this woman (and the men she was having this affair with was not even in the picture, she was all by herself with no one to defend her) out into the crowd. I never really imagined this scene in my head before, but this might be the most humiliating thing you can ever imagine. She was probably half naked, absolutely mortified and filled with shame.

The Pharisees then ask Jesus, the Law says to stone her, now what do you say?

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.  (John 8:6)

The first thing Jesus did was to bend down. Instead of answering their “trick” question, He lowered his posture near to the ground, and started to write something on the ground with his finger. I bet all the people who were staring at this half naked woman filled with shame with disdain, diverted their attention to see what Jesus was writing.

By doing this, people’s focus was no longer on the woman and her sin but on Jesus, and what he was doing. Jesus took her sin, her shame, and he consumed it. He took it away.

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  (John 8:7)

and then crickets…

Is there anyone pure and blameless in this world? Not a single one. Even the Pharisees and whom they called the “Teachers of the Law” clearly had sin in their lives. (Some say that Jesus was probably writing down their names and their sins on the ground with his finger)

Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. (John 8:8-9)

The second time he stoops down again, the one and only one who’s truly blameless and righteous stoops down. Instead of standing on a high pedestal, he comes down and lowers his position in humility.

Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” (John 8:10)

Probably in the tiniest voice shaking with shame, she said “No one, sir,”

Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11)

At the part where he said neither do I condemn you, tears welled up in my eyes. The gospel isn’t about you coming to God all holy and righteous after cleaning up your act to ask for salvation. The true Gospel is even in the midst of your sin, and you covered in shame, Jesus saying “I don’t condemn you.” I took your sin away at the cross, I paid the price for you, because I love you. Now Go and sin no more.

I bet her life was forever changed.

A Cheerful Giver

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Today being the 16th, I logged onto my bank account online to check if my paycheck has been deposited, and every time I do this, I feel a like a little girl getting paid for the first time on her summer job. Now that I’m an adult and earning my own money, I should feel more “meh” about getting a paycheck, but still after 5 + years of working in corporate, I still do an internal happy dance when they come in. I truly feel like I’m getting free-money sometimes. I thank God, because he allowed me to even have a job, and not only that but to let me truly enjoy what I do for a living. (I think that’s why it feels like I’m getting paid for nothing lol)

I have recently made a decision to quit my freelance job (but still keeping my full time gig) so I have 2 more weeks left on my freelance, but today the paycheck for both my freelance and my full time job has exceeded any amount I’ve ever gotten paid in my life LOL it was pretty cool to see how much God’s blessed me especially during this pandemic. In 2 weeks, my income will be cut down to half but I’m still trusting God and his faithfulness in his provision. I never want to stop pouring into his kingdom whether it is giving to church or blessing others.

I pray that I give cheerfully, always.

God loves a cheerful giver, and I think this says so much about who God is. God is literally the God of universe, heaven and the earth. He doesn’t really need our money, but what he’s looking at is our hearts. If you are giving just because you feel the need to, or out of pressure, it wouldn’t mean to much to God. He can see straight into our hearts and see where we are coming from. There was time in my life I gave to church because I thought it was the right thing to do, but over time, God has been teaching me about what a wonderful blessing it is to GIVE.

A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. (Proverbs 18:16)

Generosity, I found out over time, is key to opened hearts. Through even a small gift, I have experienced people coming into presence of the Lord. Through us representing God’s goodness and kindness, people turn back to God. It was never through harsh words and condemnation.

“So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” (Romans 2:3-4)

As a Christian, I wonder if we are truly living in the way of the Lord, and being kind and generous to our neighbors, and I’m not only talking about our friends and family, but even the security guards, grocery store clerk, homeless people on the street…

After contemplating this for a while, I had a conversation with my husband on how we can demonstrate such love and generosity to people, and have decided to host a weekly dinner and invite those who are in need of prayer, encouragement, and love. Everything free of charge, because that’s how God’s love is. No strings attached.

Lord, I pray that you give me your heart of compassion and generosity. That I would be filled with your joy as I’m ministering to people who are in need, and is desperate for love. I pray that you bless these people at different dinner gathering and may your holy spirit be present at all of these meetings. Lord, both me and my husband want to be good stewards of the the resources you’ve given us. We love you, Jesus, and we thank you for your kindness and generosity, Amen.

Heal our Land, Lord

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)

I’m not sure you have seen this but this is going on in San Francisco right now. Look at the sky, no instagram filter, no color correction, this is day time we’re talking about.

My husband and I moved down from SF to Orange county about 2 weeks ago, and 2 days before our move, we were smelling a lot of smoke and burnt wood (kind of like a campfire) That’s when the California fire started spreading at a rapid pace. But I never knew it would get this bad. The air quality has gotten worse, even here in Orange County and the dust keep falling on us like snow from the sky.

People are wondering if the world is ending,

I say they are not really wrong about that because I do feel like Jesus is coming back soon. I don’t know when, but he is coming back.

Spent some time hidden in my closet, praying for our city, our state, and our nation. I prayed for the spirit of repentance. That we might humble ourselves and pray, that we might all turn away from our wicked ways. I didn’t know if this fire was the work of the enemy or the judgement from God. I just kept on praying that God have mercy on us, and on our land. I believe there is something so powerful about praying in scripture. I was praying on the verse:

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)

As I was praying I saw an image of Jesus Christ on the cross, wearing the crown of thorns. Blood dripping down from his head and to his face, his eyes, and coating his eyeballs (sorry, it was pretty graphic) When he saw the world from that cross,

the whole world was tinted in this orange red. Just like the sky of San Francisco.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34)

I started to cry out and pray for the city of San Francisco to be completely covered by the blood of Christ. That they be sanctified and justified.

In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. (Hebrews 9:22)

Lord, I pray that the city, our state, our country be cleansed by the blood of Jesus, forgive us, God. We pray that this fire stops spreading and hurting more people and having them to evacuate out of their home. Heal our land, Lord. We want to humble ourselves and pray please Lord, hear us, hear our cry, Amen.