Move on

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. (Isaiah 42:18)

When I first got saved, I had these nightmare almost every night. In my dream I was the same girl who slept around and did not have a single care in the world. But ever single night the enemy was taunting me with all the guilt and shame that I was struggling at the time. When I got saved, and God told me I was a new creation, I believed it.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

But night after night I would be having these dreams and think to myself, maybe I am not saved. Maybe I am not free from this. Maybe I am just the same lost girl I once was. It was a blatant trick and a lie from the enemy trying to stumble me into thinking that I was still the lost sinner I once was, but it took me a while to realize it.

God makes all things new. Once we have been saved through the blood of Christ, we become a brand new creation. God forgives us for all things we have done in the past. But there comes a time when the enemy tries to make us believe that we have not changed. That we are still tied to our past, and make us dwell in the past mistakes rather than moving on to new things that God is doing. We need to stand firm in God’s truth and recognize our new identity in Christ. We are sons and daughters of the most high God.

One day I woke up from the nightmare and did something totally opposite of what I usually do which is to be downcast and dwelling in shame.

I started to praise God

For he is the one who set me free and made me into a brand new blameless creation. I was no longer that old past self in the dream but I was a precious daughter of the most high. I kept on saying Thank you Jesus for setting me free. Thank you so much for your blood, and sacrifice that I am no longer that person I used to be.

Surprisingly the more and more I started doing that, the less and less the dreams occurred. It went from every night to 5 days a week to 3 days a week to only once a week. Then once a month, once in 3 months… Praise God but he truly set me free.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

I bet the devils were like “Crap! every time we give her these dreams to guilt trip her, she wakes up and praises God even more!!! This is not working!!!”

Lord, I thank you for making us into a new creation. Old things are gone, and we want to move forward with you. Let us be firmly grounded only in your truth so that nothing will shake us even if we get attacked. Thank you for second chances, thank you for your blood and forgiveness. Amen.

Rest, dear, rest.

Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. (Genesis 2:3)

Few weeks ago, as I was reading through Exodus and Leviticus, God spoke to me about the Sabbath and rest. Genesis 2:3 is such a beautiful representation of “rest” that I had to meditate on this for a while. God has spent 6 days creating heavens and the earth, he created all the plants, animals and even us! But after finishing all the work of creation, on 7th day, he rested. My first, simple question was “Why did he rest?” Did God, after doing a whole bunch of creating for 6 days, get tired? Is that why he rested?

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary... (Isaiah 40:28)

No, I don’t think that’s it. He is an all-powerful God, he could have worked 7 days, 70 days and 7000 years if he wanted, but it was an intentional decision on his part to take a day to “rest’. I think there is something so powerful and key in this.

I used to think God “blessed’ he seventh day and made it holy, and that’s why he rested on that day, but actually it was the other way around. He rested, and because he rested, he blessed that day. It’s so interesting that from his day of rest, his blessing came.

A lot of the sermons lately I’ve been hearing about rest was mostly focused on the part of as human, we get tired and weary as we are ministering to others. So that’s why we need to rest in the arms of Christ. That is true, but I started to re-think about the order.

We work hard, and minister to others -> We get tired and weary -> We go do Christ for rest so we can recharge.

What if it was the other way around?

We rest in his presence -> We get filled with his spirit and we are overflowing in love -> We go out and minister to others from that overflow.

What if we rested in his presence more often and not wait until we get burnt out? What if everything we do came from the place of spending time with God? What if God created rest not as a rescue plan from being burnt out but as a way to bless us?

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters. (Psalm 23:1-2)

This is one of my favorite verse in the bible, and every time I read this, I picture myself on this green hill on a sunny day. I hear the water running ever so subtly in the background and my eyes are closed. My Lord, my shepherd, he is the one who made me lie down and he is the one who led me beside the quiet waters.

From the place of rest, he will speak to us. He will fill us with his spirit. He will bless us. Not just on a Sunday, or not only when I’m are tired, but always, I pray I will find rest in him.

The workers are few

Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” (Matthew 9:37-38)

The word “evangelism” seems to be intimidating to a lot of Christians. Especially during seasons like this, where everyone is “social distancing” we automatically assume it would be tough to evangelize. I think in a way we use Covid as a shield, almost like an excuse to stay in our comfortable bubble and “keep safe”.

Jesus said the harvest is plentiful. So the harvest isn’t an issue. There are so many people in this world that needs to be ministered to and we need to spread the good news of Christ to them. The problem is with the laborers. No one is going out to the field, and why is that? For me, I think it is part fear and part complacency. Evangelism is for missionaries in Cambodia? No, we are all called to spread the Gospel.

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. (Mark 16:15)

Me, Brian and couple of the people from the church got together and made these “care packages (covid edition)” filled with all the essentials, such as soap, hand sanitizer, masks, mini bible, tissue and couple of snacks, as well as a hand-written card. We wanted to just reach out to people and spread the love of God. 🙂 It was so much fun making these packages and praying for people we can hand this out to.

I gave my care package to a police officer guy who was working outside a large grocery store today, and he kept on saying “God bless you” and I ended up feeling MORE blessed. You would be surprised the huge smile on him, he looked like he just won a lottery. Many people are dying and the depression is rising, if churches are asleep or hiding, who’s going to be the light and hope that can point people to Jesus? No one.

People are desperate for love. Not just any human love but the love of God.

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” (Isaiah 6:8)

Here I am God, Send me.

A Good Wife

To be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2:5)

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a good wife. Being a newlywed, I watch my husband daily and am in such an awe, at how Christ-like he is. It feels like I’m looking at a truth mirror, and I begin to see all my shortcomings. NOT because he points them out to me, but by his upright posture and gentle and kind nature, I feel the conviction.

He works out everyday, and not only that, but he wakes up bright and early 6AM and tells me that he loves me a bunch and so does Jesus! He reads his bible every morning for an hour (or sometimes more) journals, and spends time in prayer. He prepares breakfast for me when I’m busy with work (because I work East Coast hour, my mornings are pretty hectic) and prays for me that I have a good day at work! Is this person real? This morning I woke up and found out that he has organized our new apartment meticulously and it looked SO beautiful and orderly, I was just…. in shock. This is what I’m talking about when I feel like I’m looking into a truth mirror and I see all my flaws. Because I’m not so much like him.

  1. To be self-controlled
  2. Pure
  3. Working at home
  4. Kind
  5. Submissive to their husband

This list looks like something I would’ve immediately felt like “That ain’t me.” my pre-Christ days. I was alway so passionate about work, career and the fact that woman are even more capable than man. The word “Submission” made me cringe so bad. Self-control, was NOT my forte, because I was all about FOMO, YOLO, I just wanted to indulge in everything I can now. Purity also, seemed like such a stupid thing at the time, because no one is really pure, right? (but later found out that there is enormous blessing that comes from God if you strive to live pure, and stay as far as you can from sexual temptation)

Meeting Jesus changed me. It changed my outlook on life. I started to understand why God put these instructions in the bible. It was not in a way that he was shoving these “rules” down our throat, but it was his fervent heart for us to course-correct us to save us from our future heartache. (from all the stupid choices we make) His wisdom blew my mind away, because it was actually so much better than my own thoughts and ideals. God started to teach me a lot of these things through my husband. I used to make fun of my husband because he is SO NEAT (he likes everything to be nicely organized and clean) and he was exceptional at managing things in the house. And I used to pride myself in being super chill about everything and being able to find all my stuff in the midst of chaos and mess.

For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? (1 Timothy 3:5)

But all things should be done decently and in order. (1 Corinthians 14:40)

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. (1 Corinthians 14:33)

God is not a God of confusion and chaos. But he is orderly. I’m learning daily that I was so selfish and only was focusing on myself, but not God. But I want to learn his ways and his wisdom on how to live our daily lives. I want to model how a good wife should be and try my best to live a life that reflects this verse daily.

Lord thank you for a daily conviction from the Holy Spirit that I may become more like you every day, Amen.

We are fools for Christ.

We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. We have become the scum of the earth, the garbage of the world—right up to this moment. (1 Corinthians 4:12-13)

There is a way of this world that makes sense to a common people. Eye for an eye. When we are cursed, we curse back and retaliate. For a long time, I felt this way about everything. They DESERVE to be punished, how can they? How dare are they? We need to make sure the evil ones get what they deserve.

Everyone needs to get what they deserve.

If this statement was true, what did I deserve? What did we deserve as the sinner? We did not deserve to be with God in Heaven. Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Is there anyone without sin? We all deserved death. But by God’s grace, we were given a pathway to our salvation through Jesus on the cross. We got a gift, instead of eternal damnation.

There are multiple verses in the bible which talks about how the way of Jesus works. It sounds a bit ridiculous, to actively love on people who hate us, but that’s what exactly Jesus did to us.

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:27-31)

I want to model my life after Jesus, as a CHRISTian, we are called to live in the way of Jesus.

The other day me and my husband was driving down the streets of San Mateo, and there was a crazy car swerving and almost coming close to hitting us. It was SO scary to think that we could’ve gotten into a bad car accident, but in that moment, instead of honking the horn for 10 seconds and cursing the driver (is probably what I would have done before) my husband reached his hand out and said “May Jesus bless them!” I was stunned and so humbled by his response and patience through a situation like this.

I believe when we love on the ones that hurt us, or curse us, there is something immensely powerful that happens in the heavenly realm. God sees our obedience, and works in such a powerful way. I have witnessed many miracles while trying this new way of thinking and living. If you haven’t tried, please give it a shot.

Lord, we want to live just like the way Jesus lived his life. Teach us to be humble and to love on those who hate us.